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Dreams are the Mind's Eye... searching
Royce
I'm not one to frequently get philosophical in thought or dwell too deeply on long ago memories, feelings, mindsets, and the like. But sometimes my mind reminds me to reset my thoughts to some of those moments in life when I had pondered my direction and possibly my destiny. I rambled before about dreams of long ago addictions and the vividness of those memories in dreams. The taste of smack in my throat as the rush came on with each pump of the plunger. The very quick waves of muscles relaxing, the mind launching into euphoria, the sort of detachment of the adrift consciousness, maybe semi-unconsciousness, from the physical body. The feeling of bliss. The wrong feeling of bliss.

I had that dream, or a variation of it, again a few nights ago.

Having overcome that addictive state in my life at a young age and having been free and void of it, its curse and call, for decades, the remnant subconscious memories of it keep revisiting me every so many years. I don't know why it doesn't go away for good. Are they lifelong reminders of what once was that, at one sorely misguided point in my life I enjoyed, loved, and lived for? Or is it a lifelong reminder of where I've been so that I may continue to focus and not stray from where I'm going looking forward?

What was it, almost a year ago or so when Frannie Bamba Turner and I first got together after not seeing each other since those smack induced euphoric days of high school and we sat in the lanai catching up... talking about old times.. and of those druggie days. And I mentioned having these dream. i mentioned dreaming of once again having that taste of the rush in my throat as my face washed over in nodding bliss. She looked at me so wide eyed, acknowledging knowing what dreams I was describing... as if we were part of the same dreams, bonded by our experiences. That was eerie.
 
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